I Can't Give Hugs Through Twitter

I used to have a MySpace account (who didn't have a MySpace account?). I remember that each time you posted/blogged/whatever, there was a small drop-down box that allowed to you describe how you were feeling. That is, you could describe how you were feeling in the form of an animated emoticon that would either turn green with jealousy, quixotically spin in circles, happily turn up its animatronic facial muscles or cry an endless stream of sky-blue pixels.

If I had that option now, my emoticon would be "distracted."

In my head, I look like this. In reality, I'm closer to this.

I have a to-do list. There are things such as "make grandma's photo collage" and "enter BAC photo contest" on the list. There are mundane things like "get Nintendo game back from cousin." There are long-term goals like "sponsor blogs" and "visit dinosaur sculpture farm/place near Lebanon." Then, of course, are the more-important items, such as "find a job!," "visit the dentist," "send package to Afghanistan," and "GO TO THE FREAKING EYE DOCTOR."

It's hard to do these things when you're distracted by Facebook, Blogger and Twitter (to which, as of yesterday, I am new). My job search takes up even more time; in the last week, I have applied to more than 20 positions. I am not so desperate that I am applying to anything and everything, so rest assured employers--I am picking you only because 1) I think I can do the job and 2) I think I would enjoy doing it.

I do, like many of my peers, find the search discouraging. It is difficult to bring myself to apply to a position that asks you to enter "I am your Mozart, you need look no further" into the subject header of an email. It is unmeasurably intriguing, yes, but it simultaneously intimidating. The company wants an individual who is naturally good at nearly every aspect of social media. They want a writer who composes "like a cow can piss."

Oh, the intimidation and rejection of the current job industry.

To top things off, I have a large list full of blog post ideas (collages, mostly). I don't know if I will ever narrow it down because, as I peruse more and more sites, I find so many interesting things.

And Twitter. OhmygoshTwitter. My first account last 15 minutes, no joke. I literally created an account, followed 39 people, went "What the hell am I doing?" and deleted it (after changing my email address
just in case I may want to try again someday).

What I ended up with four days later was another Twitter account created with an additional email address I made
solely for that purpose. (Good job, Twitter; disregard both of my valid email addresses for no reason. Only one should have been rejected.) Now, however, I am following well over a hundred people and have Tweeted several things. That's right. I'm Tweeting. I'm freaking bird, I am. Tweet, tweet. I even used a hashtag already (I'll pat myself on the back for that one): #bookswithalettermissing.

Thus far, my favorites have included @NosyCrow's
The Collected Woks of William Shakespeare, @SteveSparshott's Laughterhouse-Five and He Bible, a "holy tome with a focus on the masculine" (@ptussaud).

Then there are these, two of which is my own. Care to take a guess?

--Madame Ovary
--All the Petty Horses
--Humboldt's Gif
--Rabbi, Run
--Irates of Penzance--Cornish separatists fall out with each other
--The Lion, the Itch and the Wardrobe--Aslan catches fleas whilst wearing a Vivienne Westwood
--The Caste of Otranto--a social caste is destroyed by a giant helmet ... and other Gothic notions
--The Corections (sic)--an irony-laced potboiler about ADHD-afflicted copy editors.
--The Amished Road--magical tale of highway construction in Pennsylvania
--Avid Copperfield--the tale of an earnest magician with a shocking tan

Since I've been on Twitter, I've been finding a lot of interesting news. It's like my version of reddit (on which my boyfriend spends his time). I find articles about the "Lost Art of Postcards" written by Charles Simic (a poet whose words I fell in love with in April). I find advice from authors such as Elizabeth Gilbert.

It's never too late to write, she says.

However, it is starting to get a bit late to have my bridesmaid dress fitted (yet again). It is a little late to head up to my dad's office and help him with the newspaper today. It is too late to be employed before graduation, and it is too late to change my mind. All I want to do is build things, make things, color things, send packages to my soldier friend in Afghanistan, send Iowa postcards to my friends in Indiana, and sleep. I want to give the boyfriend a hug, for he desperately needs one right now, during his first week of teaching at a school that, no more, no less, hired him one week prior to the first day. I think about my brother's wedding in two and a half weeks. I think about the DIY projects I will never get around to doing. I think about the foreboding cloud of student debt that quickly approaches.

There are too many things, too many distractions. It is quite frustrating when, after a long day of work and job searching and altering and writing emails and organizing boxes and wishing and praying to God that you could see your other half that I still cannot cross a single item off the to-do list.

So I suppose that "distracted" is not necessarily the best word for this post.

"Discouraged" is.


  1. Thanks so much for stopping by! Always fun to meet other bloggers:)!!


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