It'd Be Quiet Without My Cackling

Behind me, my roommate, sweating and panting from what she believes is "hot as balls" weather, is currently hacking away at her futon frame. Drilling, unscrewing, pounding, metal on metal. Creak. Crank. Clang.

She'll be gone soon. She is only packing up the few things she couldn't fit in her car on her first trip home, futon included. Her vacuum will disappear (even though my rugs could use a good sucking), as will the television.

There are only a few TV shows that I will actually sit and watch, but I do like having the background noise (which would make me a good candidate for characterization in "White Noise"). Today, I've learned from Animal Planet that a five-year-old horse named Miracle was once a premature foal. "Say Yes to the Dress" further enforced my love for unattainable Pnina Tornai dresses. The History Channel guided me through a timeline of assassination attempts on Hitler, but not before educating me on "toilets of the future."

Goodbye, television. I will survive without you.

And, when
I'm done packing, I may have to turn my attention to something else.

Like YouTube videos.

This video has millions of hits, and is certainly popular. I saw it after a coworker shared it on Facebook. I think it gives me a new-found respect for Michael Bolton, who--when dressed as Erin Brockovich--resembles Sarah Jessica Parker.

My friend over at Toast with Charmalade linked me to this video. Though not entirely clean-cut, its brilliance lies in the overlay of "Mean Girls" quotes. I'm 23, and I still love Disney princesses. Especially when they're mean.

On the last day of class, my Jane Austen instructor yelled to me, "YOU MUST GOOGLE OSCAR WILDE AND JERSEY SHORE!" This is the result. This is fantastic, and more brilliant than Mean Disney Girls. The straight-faced actors deliver enunciated lines from "Jersey Shore," including witticisms like "That's what she said." Raised eyebrows and rakish grins appear throughout the five parts. A drawled-out "Drop it like it's hot" appears in Part 2, though my favorite phrase may be the sullen, "I want to spoon" (Part 3).


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