Lessons Learned

It is hard to post anything now that I am back at school. I knew that it would be this way, given that, in addition to hammering myself with eighteen credit hours, I am working part-time. I wish I had the time to be creatively witty and post things on here but the sad fact of the matter is...I do not. In truth, many of the posts I have for you now are scheduled. (I set them up over the summer, months in advance.)

However, just to prove that I am still interested in sticking around, I thought I would share with you the few things that I have learned since the beginning of the semester.

1. My Gothic literature professor is amazing.

I took a class with her last year and determined that I would once again like for her to be my professor. In my opinion, she could be characterized as a brown-haired Tonks. (An Auror from the
Harry Potter works.) She is vivaciously spunky, intelligently wide-eyed, humanely and humorously ironic, and prone to the sufferings of buttered-popcorn flavored Jelly Bellies. Her short, spiky hair is always a contrast to the skirts she dons every day.

Also, every semester, she dreams that she must teach a classroom full of monkeys.

We also happened to be discussing Freud's philosophy of dreams that day. As Freud, of course, believes that nearly any symbol has to do with either a vagina or an erect penis, the class as a whole--and this includes my professor--concluded that the monkeys in her dream were subconscious fears of her father's phallus, and that the classroom must, in turn, represent her female anatomy.

Thank goodness I didn't share my dream from the prior evening: My father and I had been laying green and blue carpet down in his childhood home.

2. My Italian instructor wears green underwear, brief-style.

I happen to know this solely because the white dress that draped her palely fragile body today was see-through.

3. The word "douche" is a word that has fallen victim to semantics.

Other words' meanings that have changed include "retard", "hot", "sick", "text", and "epic". In other words, "epic" is no longer typically considered to be a lengthy narrative poem that typically centers on the details, deeds, and events of a seriously heroic character, nation, or culture. Today, the meaning is less insignificant; it may mean, as the girl from my class explained, "cool", as in, "That was an epic hot dog."

4. There is a different student in my theatre class who, I believe, most people would like to kick.

5. I can only spell the word "receive" in my casual life.

In my professional life, I now have the tendency to misspell headlines in our daily campus newspaper.

6. Admiring the tattoo of the guy who sits in front of me in ENGL 351 keeps me awake.

7. I cannot understand any of the sixteen minutes of Italian videos I must watch.

However, I can tell you exactly which Italian ballads and rock songs are playing in the background.

8. Bicyclists (without reflectors) may or may not pedal down the wrong side of the road and/or in the middle of the road after eleven at night.

9. Field trips in college are not as fun as field trips in elementary school.

10. Don't trust anyone.


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