Warning: This is NOT a Tweet

I'll admit that I am sometimes a follower of fads. For instance, in fifth grade, when Warheads and yo-yos were popular, I made sure to join the bandwagon; I bought bags of the sour candy, as well as a lime green Duncan long since thrown away. I also purchased more than 200 Beanie Babies at that time, the majority of which are packed into a large box and stowed away in my mother's closet. Furthermore, I used to glorify the Backstreet Boys and be the 'proud' owner of a Skip-it. One of the more recent fads I partook in was Myspace; that is, until I deleted my account.

Today, however, fads are more than Chia pets, embarrassing "Macarena" dance moves, and birthday parties held at the Rolla Rena; more or less, they are associated with technology. I assume that most will not fade into existence like the pet rock, but be culturally integrated until it is considered socially acceptable to participate--i.e. the cell phone. And, of course, the biggest and most recent technological fad I can think of is Twitter.

Twitter, for any who do not know, is a free, social-networking service that broadcasts personal, up-to-the-minute activities and thoughts to friends, family, co-workers and strangers. Personally (though I am guilty of being the possessor of a social-network profile), I do not understand the obsession that the "Twitter generation" has with expressing and monitoring each others' lives. I fully believe that far too many people are spewing out personal information and random musings to complete strangers. In fact, I find it a perfect medium for those who desire to have a stalker. However, that is exactly what Twitter is designed for: to be a mode through which individuals can exchange an endless stream of conscious babblings with anyone who has the time to lurk around the website.

Eric Auchard of Reuters acknowledges the same idea. "The great big science experiment in Web voyeurism strikes me as just another example of the Coyote Ugly dive bar approach to the Web...treating the world as if our lives were meant to be public spectacles at all times."

Skillfully articulated. It's a good thing his observation wasn't limited to 140 characters.

What I find even more amusing, however, are the "orphaned tweets," or the messages posted by a user who only signs up for Twitter long enough to leave one post before never returning (I'll thank tech.slashdot.org for that definition). The following examples are one-off posts, all of which I found in an article posted by MSN, called "Orphaned Tweets:"

  • "I don't get it. What's the point of this thing?" ben_pursell
  • "This technology is awesome. If you haven't signed up already, do it now so we can all stay connected. Its much easier than email or phone." treyharness
  • "picking lint from Judy's naval while she is napping!" apsolutely4me
  • "eating a miniature pie" anord04

I wonder if anord04 is still working on that pie, since we haven't heard from him for awhile.


Furthermore, there are other orphaned tweets that just make you wonder:

  • "it hurts to breathe. should I go to the hospital?" Phillyrules
  • "life is hopeless......" muthuboss
  • "I am writing an email to the makers of Spray N Wash to thank them for making a product that got the blood stains out of my new PJs and robe." DouglasAllen
said in a comment on Slashdot, there is a Universal Law of Twitter that declares that, "there is, on average, only one tweet per twit."

This reminds me of the bumper sticker I saw on Facebook the other day. It predicted that, one day, YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook would combine to become "You Twit Face." Honestly, I look forward to that day; it will be the day I will rid myself of all social networks, potential online stalkers, and the endless struggle to think of a more poetic status update than "____ is changing his/her socks" or "____ is going to bed," which seem to be common exchanges for the typical Twit.

Anyway, I'm off to eat some pizza before going bowling tonight with friends! Check out the video I posted below! It's hilarious!


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